Durante
una conferenza stampa tenuta a Maynooth il 3 dicembre 2014, il vescovo mons.
Liam MacDaid, presidente del Comitato per il matrimonio e la famiglia della Conferenza dei vescovi cattolici d’Irlanda,
assieme a mons. Kevin Doran, vescovo di Elphin, hanno reso nota la
dichiarazione dell’episcopato The meaning of marriage (Il significato del
matrimonio). Il testo afferma che “ridefinire la natura del matrimonio significa
indebolirlo in quanto pietra angolare del nostro edificio sociale. (…) Il
matrimonio deve essere riservato a quell’unica e complementare relazione tra
una donna e un uomo, l’unica che rende possibile la generazione e la crescita
dei figli” (http://www.catholicbishops.ie).
The Meaning of Marriage
Marriage is a
unique relationship different from all others
A Pastoral Statement of the Irish Catholic
Bishops’ Conference
Married love is a unique form of love
between a man and woman which has a special benefit for the whole of society.[1]
The Catholic Church, with other Christians and those of no particular religious
view, regard the family based on marriage between a woman and a man as the
single most important institution in any society. To seek to re-define the
nature of marriage would be to undermine it as the fundamental building block
of our society. The Church seeks with others to reaffirm the rational basis for
holding that marriage should be reserved for the unique and complementary
relationship between a woman and a man from which the generation and upbringing
of children is uniquely possible. This understanding of marriage is deeply
rooted in all cultures: it is not intended to exclude or disadvantage anyone.
God’s Plan for Marriage
The Book of Genesis shows us that man and
woman are created in the image and likeness of God; they recognise that they
are made for each other (cf. Gen 1:24-31; 2:4b-25). Through procreation, man
and woman collaborate with God in accepting and transmitting life: ‘By
transmitting human life to their descendants, man and woman as spouses and
parents co-operate in a unique way in the Creator’s work’ (CCC, 372).[2]
Jesus himself teaches that marriage is between a man and a woman: ‘Have you not
read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female. For this
reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and
the two shall become one flesh’ (Mt 19:4-6).[3]
As Christians our primary commandment is to love. Love always demands that we
respect the dignity of every human person. That is why the Catholic Church
clearly teaches that people who are homosexual must always be treated with
sensitivity, compassion and respect. It is not lacking in sensitivity or
respect for people who are homosexual, however, to point out that same sex
relationships are fundamentally and objectively different from opposite sex
relationships and that society values the complementary roles of mothers and
fathers in the generation and up-bringing of children.
The debate at the core of the call for
‘same sex marriage’ is not about equality or about the separation of a
religious view of marriage from a civil view of marriage. It is about the very
nature of marriage itself and the importance society places on the role of
mothers and fathers in bringing up children. With others, the Catholic Church
will continue to hold that the differences between a man and woman are not
accidental to marriage but fundamental to it and children have a natural right
to a mother and a father and that this is the best environment for them where possible.
It is therefore deserving of special recognition and promotion by the State.
The meaning of marriage
Marriage is a unique relationship different
from all others. An essential characteristic of marriage is the biological fact
that a man and a woman can join together as male and female in a union that is
orientated to the generation of new life. The union of marriage provides for
the continuation of the human race and the development of human society.
It is precisely the difference between man
and woman that makes possible this unique communion of persons, the unique
partnership of life and love which is marriage.
Male–female complementarity is intrinsic to
marriage. It is naturally ordered toward sexual union in a faithful, committed
relationship as the basis for the generation of new life. The true nature of
marriage, lived in openness to life, bears witness to how precious is the gift
of a child and to the unique roles of a mother and father.
A man and woman united in marriage, as
husband and wife, witness to God’s plan for both life and love in a way that no
other relationship of human persons can.
Marriage is not merely a private
institution. The well-being of the family and its place in society is not
simply a matter for the husband and wife but for society as a whole. It is
given special recognition by society because it is the place where children
learn what it means to be members of their family and of society.
Legislation Relating to Marriage in Ireland
As the Northern Catholic Bishops affirmed
in an open letter on 28 April 2014 to all Members of the
Legislative Assembly of Northern Ireland with regard to their debate on this issue, the ‘marriage of a woman and a man is a fundamental building block of society which makes a unique and irreplaceable contribution to the common good and to society as well. It is therefore deserving of special recognition and promotion by the State’.
Legislative Assembly of Northern Ireland with regard to their debate on this issue, the ‘marriage of a woman and a man is a fundamental building block of society which makes a unique and irreplaceable contribution to the common good and to society as well. It is therefore deserving of special recognition and promotion by the State’.
The Constitution of Ireland regards the
family ‘as the necessary basis of social order and as indispensable to the
welfare of the Nation and the State’ (Art. 41.1.2°). ‘The State pledges itself
to guard with special care the institution of Marriage, on which the Family is
founded, and to protect it against attack (Art. 41.3.1°). Any attempt to change
this protection would be a radical change in the meaning of marriage – the
‘foundation stone’ of society – in the document that expresses the foundational
values of the Irish State.
Why is marriage so important?
In marriage, a woman and man promise love
and fidelity to each other, for the rest of their lives. Not knowing what lies
ahead they nevertheless make a commitment that they will continue to love each
other whatever comes. While we know that their commitment may break down and
know also the sorrow that this can bring, we also recognise that many couples
live that marital commitment faithfully.
This committed, married love provides a
stable and nurturing environment for children. It is here that children receive
the most important and lasting education of all. They learn how to be a member
of a family and of society.
Challenges to marriage today
We recognise that couples today face many
challenges to building and sustaining a strong marriage.[4] A major challenge
arises from any proposal which seeks to redefine the meaning and purpose of
marriage on which the family is founded, changing the definition of marriage by
enabling the relationship of a same sex couple to also become a marriage. To do
this would mean that marriage, under civil law, would no longer be the
committed gift of a man and a woman in a relationship ‘until death do us part’,
in the kind of union which can bear fruit in new human lives. Any such proposal
is based on the assumption that the institution of marriage on which the family is founded,
which has always been recognised as ‘the natural, primary and fundamental unit
group of Society’,[5]
has nothing unique about it and on the assumption that marriage can be stripped
of that social standing without obscuring its irreplaceable social role.
Everyone in various kinds of committed
relationships should have the assurance that they will be protected when their
relationship ceases, whether by death or by a breakdown of the relationship.
This is not a matter that concerns only same sex relationships.
To promote and protect the unique nature of
marriage as the union of one man and one woman is itself a matter of justice.
Same sex relationships by their very nature are different to marriage. By
introducing any amendment which presents homosexual partnerships as essentially
equivalent to marriage, we would be saying that the permanent union of husband
and wife and their generation of new life and their nurturing of it together is
no longer to be seen as the foundation of society.
Protecting marriage is a matter of justice
Marriage means the union of a man and
woman. A husband is a man who has a wife; a wife is a woman who has a husband.
A same sex couple cannot be husband and wife. A same sex couple cannot
procreate a child through the sexual act which expresses married love. Often
those who call for legal recognition of same sex marriage see it as a matter of
fairness, equality and civil rights. The Church holds that basic human rights
must be afforded to all people. This can and should be done without sacrificing
the institution of marriage and family and the fundamental role they play in
society. This is not about denying civil rights but protecting and upholding
the meaning of marriage. It is a grave injustice if the State ignores the
uniqueness of the role of husbands and wives, the importance of mothers and
fathers in our society. Children, as they grow and mature, deserve from society
a clear understanding of the importance of marriage. Without protection and
support for the unique place of marriage in society, the State could, in
effect, deprive children of the right to a mother and father. Religious and
non-religious people alike have long acknowledged and know from their
experience that the family, based on the marriage of a woman and a man, is the
best and ideal place for children. It is a fundamental building block of
society which makes a unique and irreplaceable contribution to the common good.
It is therefore deserving of special recognition and promotion by the State. Proposals
to change the meaning of marriage effectively say to parents, children and
society that the State should not, and will not, promote any normative or ideal
family environment for raising children. It therefore implies that the
biological bond and natural ties between a child and its mother and father have
no intrinsic value for the child or for society. As Pope Francis stated
recently, ‘We must reaffirm the right of children to grow up in a family with a
father and a mother capable of creating a suitable environment for the child’s
development and emotional maturity’.[6]
There will always be situations in which
the best interests of a particular child can only be met in a different type of
arrangement. It is important that the State provides for and gives practical
support to these arrangements. This is different, however, from saying that
having children raised by their biological parents in a life-long committed
marriage is no longer essential to the common good and deserving of special
recognition by the State. Even where a husband and wife cannot have children of
their own, the nature of their marriage can still provide a mother and a father
to a child in adoption or fostering. We believe that the State should urgently
provide more and better services in support of marriage in which mothers and
fathers can provide the optimum loving and stable environment for children to
grow and flourish.
The Sacrament of Marriage
The love of husband and wife is recognised
as a foundational social reality in societies and religions in every part of
the world. Acknowledging and affirming the respect due to the institution of
marriage, the Catholic understanding of marriage adds a new ‘dimension’; it is
a special blessing because of Christ. Marriage is a sacrament, a sign of God’s
love. It mirrors the love of Christ for his Church. Marriage is a total
communion of life and of love with God of the married couple in their family
life. ‘[T]hrough the help of the grace of the Sacrament, God consecrates the
love of husband and wife and confirms the indissoluble character of their love,
offering them assistance to live their faithfulness, mutual complementarity and
openness to new life.’[7]
It is the vocation and mission of married couples to be a visible sign of God’s
love, to one another, to their children and to the community through a faithful
relationship which is open to life.The love of God is eternally faithful and
reliable. Married love seeks to reflect that love as a faithful, unbreakable
relationship. Because it is a sacrament, marriage brings about and deepens the
love it reflects. With the couple living the sacrament of marriage, their
children are enriched by their sharing in God’s love. It is rightly said that
marriage and the family are under great pressure today. There are economic
pressures, worries about health, the pain of unemployment and emigration, the
social pressures, especially on younger members. Every family has its problems.
But instead of beginning with the problems and challenges, we might begin by
reflecting on the meaning of marriage as a sacrament and the blessing that it
can be to the couple and to society. Christians have always known that marriage
is not easy. As the marriage begins, in the marriage ceremony, the bride and
groom promise to be true to one another ‘for better, for worse, for richer, for
poorer, in sickness and in health’. The love of Christ for us, which marriage
reflects, led him to betrayal, abandonment by friends and agonising death on a
cross. But that was also the path that led him and leads us to the fulfilment
where ‘Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more’
(Rev 21:4) and where God will make all things new. In this uncertain world,
with all its pain, Christian marriage is lived in the promise of the ‘great
hope which can only be God’.[8]
Faith in Christ, lived in the sacrament of marriage, opens up for the couple
the truth that gives life meaning, the hope which can make sense when they face
difficult challenges and poverty and sickness together. Women and men find
companionship in that relationship, where they complement each other, not
because they are the same but because they are different, with different
interests, perspectives, experiences and family backgrounds that each of them
brings to the relationship. They are different because of all of those things,
but they are different also because they are of different sexes. That
difference means for most couples that their relationship can be fruitful in a
unique way. Their love can bring forth new human life. In the child of their
love they will see the qualities and experiences that each of them has
flowering in a new human being. This little person is a member, like them, of
the human family and, like them, a child of God who is beginning the journey
that leads to where God makes all things new. Their marriage is not just for
themselves or for the children they may have. The family is the church in the
home. The bride and groom are consecrated, and as a married couple living their
vocation, they enrich the whole community, building up the Church with their
love as husband and wife. In procreating and rearing children, they live the
beauty of love, fatherhood and motherhood and they have the dignity of
participating in God’s creative work. The ‘true love between husband and wife’
implies a mutual gift of self and includes and integrates the sexual and
affective aspects, according to the divine plan.[9]
Marriage is lived, as Saint John Paul II said, in the ‘concrete demands’ of
everyday life.[10]
As Catholics, it is not sufficient for us to talk about the importance of
family. We also have a responsibility to do all that we can do to offer
practical support for marriage and family in our parish communities, in our
liturgies and our pastoral action and as individual members of society, through
our social and political actions.
God’s Plan for Our Marriage and Family
As we answer
God’s call
in our vocation
in the Sacrament of Marriage
to follow Christ and to serve
the kingdom of God in our married life,
we ask, in and through the concreteness of
events, problems, difficulties and
circumstances
of everyday life, that God will come to us,
guiding us and enlightening us as we share
Christ’s love with one another, in our
family life,
at work, in our neighbourhood, in our
contributions to society
and in the life and worship of our parish.
Inspired by John Paul II, Familiaris
Consortio (51),
from The Family Prayer Book[11]
from The Family Prayer Book[11]
In seeking to reaffirm the unique value to
children and society of the mutual and complementary roles of a mother and
father, we ask that the principle of equality not be undermined by applying it
inappropriately to two fundamentally different types of relationship. Marriage
is a unique relationship different from all others for a reason.
[1]. Cf. Relatio Synodi of the Third Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of
Bishops: ‘Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the Context of Evangelisation’
(5–19 October 2014), 4.
[2]. Cf. Instrumentum Laboris of the Third Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of
Bishops: ‘Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the Context of Evangelisation’
(26 June 2014), 1.
[3]. Why Marriage Matters, Irish Catholic Bishops’ Conference, ‘God’s plan for marriage’, p.
1. Cf. also Relatio Synodi of the Third Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of
Bishops: ‘Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the Context of Evangelisation’
(5–19 October 2014), 15–16.
[4]. Cf. Relatio Synodi of the Third Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of
Bishops: ‘Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the Context of Evangelisation’
(5–19 October 2014), 5–7.
[6]. Address of Pope Francis to members of BICE (International Catholic
Child Bureau) at an audience in the Vatican, 16 April 2014.
[7]. Cf. Relatio Synodi of the Third Extraordinary General Assembly of the Synod of
Bishops: ‘Pastoral Challenges of the Family in the Context of Evangelisation’
(5–19 October 2014), 21.
[9]. Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, Gaudium et Spes, Pope
Paul VI (1965), 48–49.
[10]. Cf. Apostolic Exhortation, Familiaris
Consortio, On the Role of the Christian Family in
the Modern World, Pope John Paul II (1981), 51.
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